Giving Ourselves Permission to Heal as Spiritual Practitioners

So, that’s a title with a purpose. Isn’t it?

This was one of the many times when the topic of a planned blog post was unclear until my fingers touched the keyboard and typed the words into the title block. And even though it came out of the ethers, through my fingers, the knowing - the “Ah, yes. Of course.” - came with it.

The alternative title could be “Giving Ourselves Permission to Rest as Spiritual Practitioners.” And that title may be - at least from our human perspective - even closer to the root behind this post.

Too close for comfort

Very recently, I experienced a crisis of sorts. It stemmed from a failure on my own part to make certain I had adequate time away from my business and most - if not all - things work-related.

It was so bad that I could identify remnants of an emotional breakdown I experienced in 2003 revealing themselves, repeating themselves. That breakdown led to thoughts and plans of suicide, which resulted in me reaching out for professional support.

One-to-one therapy supported me to save myself at that time, which I recognize as a privilege. Not everyone has the means and the capacity to benefit from therapy. I did, and for that I’m deeply grateful to this day.

So, for me to see that reflection was definitely too close for comfort. Something had to give.

A week off after nine years

Yup. No need to offer up bait or hints to keep you reading. It’s a straight-up fact that the week I gave myself off from work was my first such break since February of 2011. (At that time, I was office manager for a school at which everyone - students and staff - had the last week of February off.)

Sure, I took a couple days off here and there, and usually a full day off on Sundays. Other than that, though… Then, factor in a world pandemic and its fallout. Yikes. That’s a recipe for serious crisis.

It took every minute of that week to give me the level of recharge that allowed me to return to my business on August 31.

In part, I attribute that to an unexpected situation within my circle of friends that was beyond any norm. The other two-thirds of that, though, I attribute solely to poor choices on my part around investment in self-care.

Specifically, it rose from a failure to invest in more comprehensive time off; the sort of time off that’s mandatory for most businesses.

Well, the sort of time off that’s mandatory for most businesses of the corporate and/or educational sort, at least.

The uncomfortable root

In retrospect, it’s clear what this failure to honor the need - to even acknowledge the need - stemmed from. And it isn’t at all comfortable to talk about, which makes it that much more important to do so.

The root of the failure - my failure on my own behalf - was ego.

My ego told me I needed to prove my worth and my business’ worth by working six days a week.

And it told me that because it

• observed the skepticism of those who didn’t “get it” and took note;

• wanted to show “them” (those who made - and make - all manner of assumptions about my work) I was a hard worker;

• decided this was what a spiritual solopreneur committed to success did.

I mean… What a bunch of bullshit. Right?

Except, I bought into that bullshit and went out of my way to prove myself and my business viable. I swallowed that bullshit - hook, line and sinker - and then allowed it to slowly erode my common intuition even as it shouted the truth at me.

And to be clear here, even though I’m referring to my ego as though it’s a third party at which to point blame, be assured I own full responsibility for this.

I’m sovereign onto myself. I get it. Also, I don’t like it.

Permission to heal granted

When I granted myself permission to take a week - a whole, complete, stem-to-stern week - off, I granted myself permission to heal.

Every aspect of me - body, mind and spirit needed time to heal… to rest… to be.

And it was my dear Compass soul sister Annie, who’s a practicing psychologist, who laid an eye-opening truth out for me to view.

She observed that my spiritual business, which calls for me to hold deeply emotional and spiritual space for all those I serve, is very much like her own business.

Through that observation, she shared the “resuscitation” she requires to best serve her clients; the level of healing time she requires to practice at her highest and best, for the highest and best of her clients.

It’s her suggestion - both as a close friend and as a mental health professional - that I give myself permission to take a week off each quarter of the year.

That took me aback, I admit. My first reaction, purely ego, was, “I can’t do that. That’s too much time. That’s a luxury.”

After that initial reaction, however, I sat with the suggestion and invited my intuition and my spirit guides to weigh in. It probably comes as no surprise that both are in accord with Annie’s earned wisdom.

And so, I choose to honor her suggestion, and myself, and my business, and my clients by doing that from this point forward.

Your turn

I’m looking at you, dear reader. Whether you’re a spiritual solopreneur as I am, or another type of entrepreneur, or a corporate employer or employee, are you granting yourself permission to heal and rest and be?

If “yes,” you’re amazing and I take further inspiration from you.

If “no,” you’re amazing and my hope for you is you’ll tend your needs before you, too, find yourself teetering on the edge of a breakdown.

Blessed be.