Pregnant Pause

We all know what a pregnant pause is. Right?

It's a moment that is void of discussion or action and yet overflowing with the energy of... something: possibility; hope; inspiration. In this instance, the pregnant pause pointed to an actual pregnancy, which would have been a miracle.

I'm picking up where I left off in last week's post. If you haven't read it yet, you may want to before reading this second installment. It will give you some context for this post, which will be helpful.

Confession: I practiced all manner of procrastination as I set about following the guidance to write this post. The thought of writing, for public consumption, something this personal had me feeling vulnerable to the point of tears.

And yet it's an important part of the equation. I couldn't leave it out. Which is why, after washing all the dishes, Instagramming, texting, emailing and making a snack, I took a breath and put fingers to keyboard.

The Indwelled Writing Begins...

I didn't know at the time, and yet it's clear now, that the indwelled writing was the first pregnant pause. It initiated a progressive waiting period for what was to happen next.

What's indwelled writing? It's writing generated from both within and without, in terms of how energy feels. I notice sensations within my body to activate muscles, etc., and yet also around my body simultaneously. My entire energy body and energy field become activated.

The experience on June 10, 2015 began "leaking" into life off the massage table and outside the angel room. I noticed an amplified "leak" while at dinner with my parents on June 29, 2015.

My right hand began moving on its own, touching the tablecloth, plate, napkin, silverware. It felt and looked like an exploration of the immediate surroundings - of my immediate surroundings - and the objects I was engaging with.

Neither my mother nor my stepfather took note of it. And that's miraculous in itself considering I know I wore an expression of bemusement, awe and shock. I'd assumed if it was going to happen again, it would happen on the angel room massage table, not at the dinner table.

Later that night, I pulled out my current journal, as guided. With pen in hand, the indwelled writing began. It didn't happen every day. Looking back at that journal, I see June 29, June 30, July 1, July 3, July 5, July 8, July 9, July 10...

Also as guided on June 29, I created a computer document named "Communications." In it are typed entries with even more details than the handwritten entries. Scanning that document, I see June 29, June 30, July 2, July 3, July 4, July 5, July 6, July 8, July 9, July 10...

All but one day in that time period - July 7 - is accounted for between the two methods.

...and Expands

Thinking back on it, I remember how much "easier" it felt to type than to write, because the typing involves less in the way of "broad mechanics." Consider how our entire arm is engaged when we write for any length of time. Then, consider how typing involves almost solely our hands.

Easy-smeasy, though, because the indwelling spread, gently and insistently, to include my entire body. My torso, arms and head received most of the action, thank goodness.

When my hips, legs and feet were added to the equation, it put me a bit off-kilter. In fact, it put me off-kilter enough that I wasn't confident I wouldn't end up sprawled flat on the floor.

The good news is, my energetic inhabitants, who identified themselves as "the ascended masters," mostly used my lower extremities on my bed. What I mean by that is, they led me through various movements and stretches involving my entire body.

The activity was Yoga-like, although I'd be hard-pressed to name specific poses, even if I practiced Yoga. Some of the most beautiful (heard "compelling") movements happened at my desk. One moment I'd be writing or typing, and the next my entire upper body would be engaged in some sort of dance-like movement.

It fascinated me how achingly familiar the movement felt, in spite of never experiencing anything like it in this lifetime.

During one of those "dance breaks," I received a download unlike any I'd yet experienced.

Pregnant Pause, Supersized

The Chopra Center scheduled their second Global Meditation for Compassion on Saturday, July 11, 2015 at noon Eastern. I felt compelled to participate, so I signed up for it. As it began, I felt my inhabitants stir.

They were extremely interested in Deepak Chopra. My face moved, under their power, to within scant inches of the computer screen and looked deep into his eyes. They used my fingers and traced the outline of his face, and touched the area of his forehead where the third eye is located.

Once the event concluded, I was sat back in my chair, feet planted flat on the floor, arms at rest by my sides. They tipped my head back until my face was parallel with the ceiling. My mouth opened slightly, and then wider.

That's when I felt it.

I could feel energy streaming into my mouth and down my throat. It was extraordinarily tangible; enough so that I swallowed. After a short break during which I caught my breath and wondered what was happening, it happened again.

Apparently, we were complete after the second "download," because that concluded the activity, at least on the surface.

The activity was just starting in the areas of my solar plexus and sacral chakras. There was an incredible amount of movement, and even though I knew it was energetic, it was so pronounced as to feel physical.

Shortly thereafter, my mouth formed words that were delivered by a breathy feminine voice: "You are pregnant."

"That's Impossible... Right?"

Let me paint a picture: I'm sitting at my desk having just received a powerful duo of downloads in a most unusual (for me) way. There's enormous "activity" happening in the areas of my solar plexus and sacral chakras.

I'm feeling and hearing the words "You are pregnant" coming out of my mouth. And in my very Libra way, I'm thinking in response, "I've been in menopause for over two years and I'm not having sex. That's impossible."

With all that in the picture, however, comes this small wondering: "Is it impossible?" Given all I'd just experienced in the span of about 20 minutes, and given all I'd experienced since June 10... Was a pregnancy really impossible? I mean, consider Mary.

I reached out to Tina and told her what had happened and what I was told. Like me, she had a sense that "impossible" wasn't in play here. We were scheduled to meet to exchange healing in three days, which was divine timing. (Of course.) In addition, we were being joined by another intuitive and energy healer friend of Tina's, Michele.

For the next few days, all written and typed messages included information about the pregnancy. The information included a lot of specifics about how the pregnancy would go, that there would be a midwife, that the baby was a girl. I was even given a date of birth for late February of 2016. I surrendered to the not-necessarily-impossible and flowed with it.

Pregnancy Test

On Tuesday, July 14, 2015, I stopped on the way to Tina's house to purchase a pregnancy test. It was something I hadn't even done pre-menopause. Talk about surreal.

At Tina's a short while later, I met Michele for the first time. She was aware of what was happening, and we'd been given instructions on how the proceedings of the day would go.

Our first order of business was a deep conversation around what "all of this" meant, including talk of a new form of energy healing. With that checked off, it was on to the second order of business: the pregnancy test.

Amidst some giggling, abnormally wide eyes and many (many, many) deep breaths, I opened the box and read the instructions. Then, with a why-not "Here we go," I took the test into the bathroom and followed the instructions.

At the appointed time, we opened the test to read the results: not pregnant.

I'd be lying if I said my response was 100% relief, because I'd also be lying if I said I hadn't considered what a disruption a baby would pose to my life. I estimate my response was about 90% relief and 10% sadness and disappointment.

After we caught our breath and plunged the used test and packaging deep into the garbage, we proceeded to our third order of business: Reiki healing exchanges in the angel room.

By that time, it felt like all three of us could really use energy healing. It's as if the powers-that-be knew that.

Of course, it stands to reason that our healing round-robin, of sorts, would be more than that. Given all we'd already been through, how could it not be?

Continued here: Braving the Ocean