It was kindly pointed out to me Sunday that I haven't added to this blog since June.  That nudge caught me by surprise, because I couldn't fathom how that much time could have elapsed since my last post; yet it's a fact.

Where did that time go?  I remember summer; remember it as one of the best summers in memory because my neck of the woods was blessed with real summer weather.  I am grateful for every hazy, hot and humid day that had me - me! - using the air conditioner that is nearly new after three years.  I loved summer this year!

Still, where have I spent the past four months?  Between work and home, mostly, and with family and friends most weekends.  Good times; precious memories.  I've also spent some time reading and studying for the Reiki Master Teacher certification class I'll attend this coming weekend.  Beyond that, sleeping and watching TV.

Watching TV.  For me, that is mostly defined as playing DVR'ed programs while simultaneously checking e-mail, Facebook, and Twitter.  The other part of that definition is zoning out to the tune of myriad HGTV shows.  In the blink of an eye, it seems, hours have slipped away into oblivion.

Sunday night, in the midst of Freecycling a second TV that hasn't been used in almost a year, I had a huge "aha" moment around my TV watching:  I use it to self-medicate; to get lost in and, in doing so, to put off the work - the self-work - awaiting my attention.  I use it as background noise rather than listening to the quiet, and therefore listening to my inner self.  I use it to lull my soul back to sleep so it won't keep tapping on my shoulder, demanding my time and energy.

What am I doing spending all that time looking at a TV?  I'm certainly not doing something good for me; for us; for our future.  So, I've decided to go TV-free.  The office TV will be picked up Monday after work and the living room TV will be picked up a week from Saturday.  The thought makes my stomach drop and I can feel actual anxiety and discomfort rising.  Over a TV.

That tells me I've made the right decision.  That tells me I'm taking another step toward my awakening.