The follow-up to my earlier post regarding obtaining permission to “dispense” healing, as promised. As a reminder, here is how it started: An acquaintance from the other side of the world posted recently that she had used Reiki on the cashier at the grocery store because the woman was copping an attitude (I’m paraphrasing), commenting how it helped to calm her (the cashier) down. I was aghast for two reasons: 1) she used Reiki on the woman without permission, and 2) she did it to benefit herself because she didn’t want to deal with the woman’s perceived attitude (hello, ego!). I did address my concerns with her; no talking behind her back going on here.
Having already spoken to the importance of obtaining permission to offer healing, it’s time to speak to the ego that drove this (smart, funny, super positive) healer’s action. She used Reiki on the cashier because the woman’s demeanor was negative and, by and large, she just didn’t want to be subjected to the negativity.
I can fully understand not wanting to be subjected to others’ negativity. In my “perfect world,” I am easily and gracefully able to navigate away from those who are projecting negativity. While I can certainly turn off the radio or TV in order not to subject myself to the sometimes relentless negativity that is broadcast, and while I can certainly choose not to associate with people whose negativity is so deeply entrenched that they spread poison wherever they go, fact is that few people are able to be positive 100% of the time and so it stands to reason I will be faced with negativity on occasion.
Negativity can be uncomfortable and even annoying, exasperating, tiresome … I certainly don’t like when a store employee is being all down-at-the-mouth (I think it’s unprofessional, but recognize we’re all human, plus I have no idea what the back story is behind the attitude) and will make every effort to counteract that energy with a smile while making a point to meet their eyes and say, “Thank you.”
It’s important to remember that sometimes all it takes is the simple act of really looking at a person and offering up the incredibly economical (free!) kindness of a smile and gratitude to effectively transmute the negativity. It’s also important to remember that our negative reaction to negativity is a choice we make on behalf of our ego. We are not at all obligated to pick up that dark mantle and place it about our shoulders. Since dark requires less effort of us than light, though, (and since our ego loves the dark) it is easy to step into that sinkhole.
In this case, my acquaintance had the ability to use a healing tool to change the cashier’s attitude. She chose to do that because she didn’t like the cashier’s attitude. In actuality, her choice had nothing to do with the cashier and everything to do with her own ego rising up to get what it wanted; taking control of another person’s psyche – without permission – to make herself feel better. (That’s a big no-no, kids. Please refer to part 1 of this post if you haven’t already viewed it.)
Like it or not, how we react to the way another person is being is completely our choice.
Like it or not, how we react to the way another person is being is completely our choice. That being the case, we can choose not to buy into how they’re being; take the higher road and not let it ruffle our feathers. That choice is not always easy; far from it. But, as it is with many things, patience and repetition can go a long way toward helping us to stay on that higher road, offer that smile and gratitude, and go on with our day.