Spiritual growth – evolution – promotes human growth. The process touches every facet of our lives, in time. The scope broadens when we share our spiritual nature. And when that happens, it’s only a matter of time before it touches our relationships. In the case of some relationships, change arrives soon afterward.
“Is it me or is it them?”
That’s a question you might ask yourself, a friend or family member, or even a therapist. My response to that question: “Both.”
As we grow and evolve, we change. And as we change, our perspective changes. When we see things differently, we may find that behaviors we once tolerated from loved ones become intolerable. And we may find that behaviors we once accepted become unacceptable.
In a way, we might look at this change in perspective as clearing away the cobwebs. In another way, we might consider it taking out the recycling… or the trash.
The clarity regained through spiritual growth promotes a need for clarity in our everyday lives. And that clarity includes disengaging ourselves from relationships that we discover are truly toxic to us. It also includes some relationships disengaging themselves from us because we’re “different” now. We aren’t the people they thought we were, or “used to know.”
We may very well become “different” through this evolution, by virtue of our changed perspectives, choices and actions. And those differences reinforce the need for change in our lives – relationships included. Of course, we likely prefer that we initiate the change or break-ups.
When “they” initiate the change or break-up…
…most likely we experience more discomfort than when we initiate it. It probably hurts more. And that’s because it’s typically initiated by the people we felt solid with and sure of. These people we love, and they love us, and yet now they pull away.
We could say the shoe is on the other foot, given the prior section. And yet the reason for our changes and break-ups stemmed from the toxicity of the relationships. (Do those people know that, or did we ghost them?)
Through my own spiritual growth, this aspect of it definitely hurt the most. Sometimes, it still does. I mean, ideally our loved ones accept us for who we are, even if who we are is outside their scope of belief or understanding. That ideal may not apply when brought up against their religious beliefs and/or fears, though.
Consider if their religion denounces Reiki, Tarot and mediumship, for example, and those practices are our new normal. Chances are high they’ll either put us at arms length (“I love you, but…”) or sever ties with us (“Blasphemy!”).
This is the reality of spiritual growth when it comes to relationships. It “separates the wheat from the chaff,” as the saying goes. It may also result in walls rising where there once was open and easeful space.
Boundaries provide a necessary function for all of us. Their function may take on a different energy and deeper necessity through our spiritual evolution. Awareness of how to set boundaries and types of boundaries may help us help ourselves. The Holistic Psychologist offered this up recently:
She then dropped this gem:
And when it comes to loved ones imposing boundaries on us… Well… Remember, we can’t control others’ reactions to our evolution. What we can do is find it within ourselves to remain open-hearted even in the face of newly-erected boundaries or walls.
This post is part of a series: Owning Our Spiritual Nature
Here are the other posts, in order of publishing:
- Exiting the Spiritual Closet
- Experimenting with Spiritual Pursuits
- Spiritual Comparison
- Spiritual Awakening
- Spiritual Activations
- Specialness in Spirituality
- The Wounded Healer’s Heart
- Sharing Our Spiritual Nature